No Such Thing as Doing My Life Wrong

Even though I missed a few dance days (ok ok more like a week) during the holiday season, I’m still enjoying my daily dance experience. After missing the first day I found myself getting really down and almost punishing myself by saying ‘Oh great. Now you messed it all up. You have to start all over or you aren’t doing the 30 days right.’ Heavy.

In the spirit of self-reflection I took time to ponder my automatic thoughts and feelings and where they came from. The perfectionist in me, which is a remnant of my childhood, thinks that if I do something wrong then I’m in trouble. In physical danger even!

Not a healthy place to be mentally and can really send me into a dark spiral. So I soothed myself with the reminder that a new day will come and there’s something to learn here, plus it’s my daily dance experience so I really can’t do it wrong. This is one of the core things the whole program stresses anyway.

I can’t do it wrong. Music to my perfectionist’s ears and allows her take a step back a bit. So after that thought I felt much better and decided that even thinking about dancing was part of my experience. I can’t do it wrong. The days I missed my physical dance were not in vain. I thought about dancing and noticed how my body felt without it. Priceless.

So here I am, on day 22 of the 30 day challenge and I feel great about it. Yay! There’s something about moving my body freely to music that is indescribable. Meditation, prayer, immersion, love, beauty, joy, wonder, freedom are some words that come close but still don’t reach the true heart of the experience. I’m being drawn to share this experience with others somehow but the details haven’t appeared yet.

I wait patiently. They will show up soon. I can feel it.