Tag: pain

Intimacy, Bonds, Pain, & Pleasure

August 7, 2022

In the evenings right now, Venus, Sun, and Descendent meet up and bring some clarity in the realm of personal relationships, deep bonds, and intimacy. Taken into consideration with outer planetary nodes, we gain insight into hard truths about and great possibilities for our human experience.

What This Means For You

You may be feeling a bit adventurous and looking for ways to broaden your experience of life. As new ideas enter your field of awareness right now, it’s very important to welcome them and take a little time to reflect in an objective way. Perhaps a new direction is just what you need to find more of the enjoyable in your daily living.

Life is full of paradoxes and the other side of pleasure is pain. At the same time your struggles, difficulties, or losses pierce you with agony, your successes, contentments, and wins saturate you with joy. You can and will have both and that’s okay. Allow it all in and truly experience the full spectrum. Pain and pleasure are your lifelong companions so it’s a good idea to befriend both.

How I’m Feeling It

Collectively we try to structure and scrutinize our intimate relationships. We fall into the traps of labels and shoulds. We compare our own needs and desires for intimate partnerships with the imposed external power structure’s ideas of what these very personal bonds look and feel like.

Trying to fit our inherent knowings of who we are in intimate exchanges into those false ideas has distorted our experience of essential life-giving relationships.

Some of us subconsciously believe we deserve pain. Over and over we place ourselves in relationships that belittle and demean us. We give our agency away to a partner who controls, manipulates, and exacerbates our deep seated fears.

Some of us subconsciously believe we need to cause pain. Over and over we seriously hurt the ones we care about to avoid the closeness we want yet fear. We take from others and give very little, holding ourselves away from the experience of true intimacy as a way of trying to avoid our own pain.

Some of us do both.

At the core of it all is fear. Whether we fear being alone, being unloveable, being rejected, or having all of our hidden secrets and vulnerabilities exposed, it all plays out in a way that prevents us from stepping into a truly fulfilling intimate bond that is our natural way of being.

Intimate expressions in a relational bond can be easy and joyful. The complications we experience can be replaced by simple, sweet kindness. Our partnerships can be a source of relaxation and vibrancy. We can experience all of that when we acknowledge our pains and hurts, courageously reveal them to others who are willing to do the same, and step forward together into an original paradigm, a fresh pattern, a co-created reality of kindness, compassion, and acceptance.

We then begin to swim in the ocean of fears, traumas, desires, and yearnings instead of drowning. We immerse ourselves into a fuller experience of life, seeing pain and pleasure as aspects of being alive instead of identities. Together, we grow in recognition of each other and ourselves as we enfold everything into this mysterious adventure of living.

Autonomy, Wisdom, Power & Laws

July 26, 2022

Jupiter woke me this morning. So I got up and went outside at 430am to see what was up. I observed Jupiter in Pisces while knowing Neptune shares that place as well and saw three shooting stars between Aries and Pisces. Under all this, I felt the Moon in Gemini very strongly in my meditation.

What This Means For You

Feelings of confusion or self-doubt can come forth right now. There may even be a tug-of-war in the mind as you feel like you know what you want to be or need on one hand yet find all the reasons it won’t or can’t work on the other. Imposter syndrome, guilt, and shame can rear up too as feelings of inadequacy struggle against your dreams and inherent knowings.

All of these things can cause great mental anguish if you forget yourself even for a moment. And if you do, it’s okay. The feelings will change. Stay focused on the quiet wisdom expanding and calling from the depths of your creative center. Remind yourself of your life experiences because they build up your inner library of knowledge. Even the devastating painful parts of your life are welcome in this collection of information.

Instead of trying to let go or move on from the pain, feel it intensely. Invite it out to play and dream with you. Help your sorrow find a useful focal point to disperse it’s hard gained wisdom in a way that helps you see its value in your life and in your world.

How I’m Feeling It

I see the guilt many humans feel about the state of our world today. The discomfort we have while trying to maneuver all the human-made laws and attempts to control life. The struggles we each feel as we try to grow and thrive within outdated ideas and institutions of power. The shame that gnaws at us with the realization we gave away our own power to others who we believed knew better for us than the inherent voice of natural law.

It’s important we honestly acknowledge who and what we gave our power away to and start to reclaim it. From the medical system, religion, and schools to the ideas of biological families, careers, and gender roles (among many many other human-made laws of what life is supposed to look like), we’ve all given away a part of our greatness and autonomy to something unnatural and imposed. There are some small grains of truth within these various systems but they are not all-knowing or flawless by any measure. We need to sift out the seeds of nourishment and be rid of the hulls of falsehood.

Now is the time for us to look toward our inherent wisdom. The connection we have to the earth and many other heavenly bodies beyond plays out within our cells. We hold all the information and guidance we need within our physical being. Our lives don’t need any hand holding from external ideas of power. Our pain speaks of the places we fight against this truth. Our pain shows us a window into the depths of what we try to ignore. Our pain is key in helping us break out of our blind adherence. Our pain helps us find compassion for ourselves and other living beings as we navigate the perilous path toward greater freedom and unity within and with life itself.

Passion, Anger, Pain, & Rebellion

July 22, 2022

When gazing at the sky in my pre-dawn meditation today, I saw Moon and Mars coexisting in the realm of Aries. While my eyes couldn’t see Uranus, I know it’s there nestled in all that potential.

How This Affects You

Emotions can run dangerously hot right now yet you can steer them in a worthwhile direction. Whether that’s kindling a passion you’d love to see grow and flourish or directing anger toward taking action for a cause you care deeply about, there’s a safe space for all your feelings to manifest in the world.

For the next year, there’s a push for you to rebel against useless structures and patterns – within yourself as well as your world. These next three weeks can give you the extra courage you need to take a step forward, face those things you find unjust, and bravely move toward innovating a new way of relating to yourself, your mind, your emotions, and your experience of life.

The exact who, what, where, why, and how will vary greatly depending on your unique birth chart so if you need assistance hearing the message through the chatter of your mind or the noise of the world, let me know.

How I’m Feeling It

There’s no way around it. Life is painful. Being human is fraught with arduous, heart-wrenching experiences. From child abuse, animal cruelty, and a disregard for the earth, to loss, mental maladies, and systemic oppression, we all experience distress in our lives and in the collective life. We all have painfully agonizing ordeals.

I’m finding myself more and more dissatisfied with the generally accepted approaches toward all aspects of human pain and its place in our lives. Some tell us to suck it up and move on or to think positively and have gratitude because it’s not that bad. Individually we may drink or smoke or eat or sleep or work too much. Or we pass our pain on to others with our words or fists so we don’t have to deal with it. Some of us may withdraw and punish ourselves and those we love by not engaging with them. None of these are very helpful in the long run. They may offer some brief respite in the present, but the pain is still there, festering in the depths. One day it will bubble up from our own underworld and create a greater agony than before.

I feel my anger rising when I see ‘think positive’ memes on social media or when a friend responds to my pain in a comparative way to ‘help’ me see that my pain isn’t such a big deal. I notice how they unwittingly try to dismiss my pain. I find myself closing up or speaking defensively in hurtful ways when I try to avoid my own pain. So I’m rebelling and taking action to help move us all into a new way of relating to our human struggles.

The wisdom tradition of astrology is one way for me to do this. Using astrology I can gain an objective perspective on my own places of trauma, difficulties, and fearful reactions (as well as those of the collective). The heavenly bodies and the way their energy is reflected on earth and in my life shines clearly in my chart and my meditations. Astrology makes space for all of my pain, the validity of it, and how it can be used to propel me forward into the unknown spaces of growth I fumbled around in before discovering this wisdom tradition. Astrology provides a safe space for me to be in pain, feeling and finding acceptance for every sharp edge and heavy weight. Once acknowledged and encountered, my pain then guides me toward healing and release. I emerge from the current of my own underworld ocean ready to bask in the warmth of rebirth into a new way of being.

And it can do the same for you. Let me know if you’d like some collaboration in your own journey. I’m here.